The Worst Celebrity Themed Pinball Machines Of All Time

Although celebrity tie-ins with pinball machines have been a part of the industry since the outset (as evidenced by the 1930s Man-o-War in honor of the legendary race horse) the heyday of the genre was during the late 1970s and early 1980s. Until that time, celebrity references were either by inference (Bonanza from 1964) or somewhat tongue in cheek (1967s Beat Time featuring those lovable mop tops The Bootles). The release of the film version of The Whos rock opera Tommy launched the era of the licensed celebrity tie-in.

For the next twenty years, pinball machines offered a tangible proof of having arrived for the celebrities they featured. As the 20th century drew to a close, this measure was somewhat diluted by the purchase of pinball manufacturers by large entertainment conglomerates, most notably Columbia Pictures who owned D. Gottlieb and Company for a time. Despite the decline of the pinball industry, the one remaining manufacturer (Stern Pinball) continues to focus on pop culture themed machines including The Sopranos and World Poker Tour that reflect whats popular with the games heavily male audience.

The many celebrity tie-in machines have resulted in some bad choices. Below, a list of the worst of the celebrity themed pinball genre. Note that this list is based on the celebrity tie in alone and not on the qualitative merits of the machine:

5) Phantom of the Opera by Data East (1990):

The Andrew Lloyd Weber Broadway adaptation of Phantom was red hot and what goes together better than Broadway shows and pinball? Just about anything, actually. Since the 1910 Gaston Leroux novel is in the public domain, they based it on that hoping to capitalize on the Broadway versions popularity without having to work out a deal with them. The result is a bizarre mish-mash of generic Phantom imagery, including a Christine Dae likeness for which the backglass artists daughter served as the model.

4) Rescue: 911 by Premier Technology (1994):

Rescue: 911 was a big hit TV series at the time of the games release. As a bonus, it was hosted by the venerable William Shatner. The game was fairly entertaining, featuring a helicopter that would rescue the ball with a magnetic lifeline and fly it to safety on the other side of the playfield. At the root of the theme, however, was the creepy reality that they were equating a pinball game with real life disasters.

3) Mike Bossy, The Scoring Machine by Gameplan, Inc. (1982):

During the early 1980s there wasnt a more dominant hockey team than the New York Islanders, who won four straight Stanley Cups from 1980 to 1984. Despite having talent at every position, the Isles offensive weapon was undoubtedly Mike Bossy who scored 50 goals or more in 9 straight seasons. The backglass was little more than a big image of Bossys face with no other identifying characteristics like his name or team logo. Bossy was as solid of a scorer as has ever played in the NHL , but Id speculate that at least half of the teams season ticket holders during that era wouldnt have been able to identify it was him on the backglass.

2) Dolly Parton by Bally Manufacturing (1978):

A pinball machine themed around Dolly Parton is probably not what the teenage and 20ish males who played the game were looking for. At least this can be partially explained away due to Partons enormous popularity at the time. It also has the mitigating factor of being a pretty good game and was relatively popular for Bally, as it enjoyed a production run of nearly 7,500 units. It still begs the question Were they unable to reach an agreement to get Chers rights?

1) Roy Clark The Entertainer by Fascination, Inc (1977):

I would have loved to have been in on the pitch meeting for this:

Here we go gentlemen: a Roy Clark pinball machine. (sniff sniff) Do you smell what I smell? I dont know about you but Im smelling money.

Clark is by all accounts a good guy and is held in very high respect by his fellow musicians. But even in 1977, he wasnt anything of a draw to the pinball audience which skewed heavily toward males in their 20s.

Even Clarks long running TV series Hee Haw had its own machine, although it was an unlicensed 1973 game with some very poor likenesses of Grandpa Jones and Buck Owens on the backglass. Ive spent a lot of time researching the history of pinball and havent been able to uncover a country music subculture within the industry. From these machines, as well as our #2 selection, youd definitely think otherwise.